Tom Riddle's Very Secret Diary
by Inity
Summary: Ever wondered what really was written in Tom's diary before it was given to Ginny? See the bizarre events from the life of young Slytherin Heir, his dreams, his worries, his first date experience here!


Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling,   
various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books   
and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made, this is only a fanfic.  
  
Note: thanks for Lost Infidel and Parvati for beta-reading.  
Russian version of this story is available here: deathseaters.narod.ru/Riddle.html  
  
Tom Riddle's Very Secret Diary  
  
xxx  
  
This is a test. Do you see me?  
  
xxx  
  
Hello dear Diary. My name is Tom Riddle, and I'm sixteen. I study at   
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in Slytherin house. I'm really very   
kind and fluffy inside, but no one loves me. My favorite occupation is walking   
in the Zoo and asking snakes to scare other visitors. It's very good fun. Also I   
wish to become more acquainted with girls ...but it seems to me that everyone is   
ignoring me, and this hurts my young unstable soul very much. I'm so vulnerable,   
discontented and deserve some compassion. Tomorrow I'll write more.  
  
xxx  
  
Dear Diary,   
It's me, Tom, again. Still no one loves me. If you only could know HOW   
unhappy and lonely I am. Today I tried to make a friend with some Ravenclaw   
girl, but she screamed and ran away in fear. I have no idea what scared her so   
much. Maybe my frightening green eyes, maybe my shady hair, and inspired, brave   
look, or maybe Nagini, who lied on my shoulders around my neck, so only last   
three inches of her tail were resting on the floor. I asked Nagini to smile at   
the girl pleasantly (Yes, I'm able to talk with snakes. No, I already visited a   
psychiatrist. I really disliked that visit.)  
  
xxx  
  
A whole delegation of first-years' parents was standing at the castle   
entrance. They demand from Headmaster Dippet not to let students have snakes as   
pets. I don't see a problem with snakes.   
  
xxx  
  
I'm still sad and lonely. Today I went to peep at girls in the bathroom.   
At least it's some way to entertain myself.  
  
xxx  
  
I passed some exams. All the professors agreed that I know everything   
those students two grades ahead know. Dombledore said it was about three grades   
ahead. It can't be, because I'm it 5th grade of 7. Maybe I just misunderstood   
something.  
  
xxx  
  
Studied dark magic all day long to show this Gryffindor boy who stepped   
on my foot and on Nagini's tail, what he deserves! When learned some spells,   
went to have some serious talk with him, but found that Nagini already discussed   
with him that matter... At least I won't need to care about her food for a   
week...  
Well, spells I learned can be useful in the future anyway. During a dinner, I   
tried one of them on the couple of first years, which threw a pie at me.   
It was announced that due to some technical reasons tomorrow we'd have breakfast   
at the quidditch pitch.  
  
xxx  
  
Still no one loves me it's very uncomfortable. May be I'm a gay? I won't be   
happy with this.  
  
xxx  
  
Was peeping at girls in the bathroom. This third-year weirdo, Hagrid,   
followed me everywhere. Albeit he's just a third-year, and two heads taller than   
me and twice wider. Besides that, he got sweaty hands and bad smell from his   
mouth. It's just not aesthetic. Having a relationship with him is just not for   
as aristocratic nature as I am. But how do I explain that to Hagrid? He's so   
boring. I presented to him my toothpaste.  
  
xxx  
  
Hagrid hugged me gently in the corridor and invited me to his cupboard   
with him, to watch hedgehogs. I was almost choked. Really, how do I explain him   
that I'm allergic to hedgehogs, and moreover, they're prickly? An I'm NOT   
interested in watching how hedgehogs do THAT? This Hagrid has some perverse love   
for animals. I fed Nagini with the rats Hagrid presented to me. Oh my God, I'm   
tired of this hell.  
  
xxx  
  
No, I'm not inspired by Hagrid's idea to hatch a dragon egg. No, I won't   
help him; I got enough of my own... stuff to do.  
  
xxx  
  
Just wondering if I'm really not a gay. Why the hell is Potter glaring   
at me insanely? Why does he care, what I was doing in girls' bathroom? Why does   
it matter to them what is between Hagrid and I? I never promised anything to   
anyone. I'm not ought to give anyone reports!  
  
xxx  
  
I didn't use bad language, Professor Dumbledore. I even don't know how   
to say such words. You can check what I said in any parseltongue pocket   
dictionary.  
  
xxx  
  
I'm an Heir of Slytherin! Cool!  
  
xxx  
  
I will never build MY OWN secret hiding places in public restrooms. I   
had to take bath for two hours.  
  
Minus: dropped a diary into bath. Now, the capital H seems to be disappearing on   
every page.  
Plus: now I smell like strawberry foam. I took a bottle for myself, just for   
fun.   
  
xxx  
  
Yeah, I've always loved snakes, but not so freaking HUGE snakes. Nagini, are   
you going to be that big when you grow up? Please don't.  
  
xxx  
  
I hate muggles. Oh, how much I hate them. I understand Slytherin maybe a   
little too much, oh well. My father was a muggle.  
He had never sent me a single Christmas postcard. When I grow up a little, I'll   
remind him, that it was only his fault - which I was lacking a happy childhood   
that nobody was buying me ice cream and that I was not allowed to watch NC-17   
movies. Because of all that, I will develop very vulnerable and suffering   
personality and will make people unhappy. All these psycho traumas I received in   
the childhood will turn me into moody psychopath with maniacal ideas such as   
"take over the world". Take over the world. Sounds good. Should think about   
that...  
  
xxx  
  
Seems that one girl isn't indifferent to me. AT LAST!!! She just   
confessed me her love and asked if she can copy my arithmancy homework. I   
agreed... In fact, she has ugly thick glasses, she's almost always in tears, she   
always moans and complains about everything, she got terrible ponytails and   
squeaky voice, but that's better than nothing! At least I'm not a gay. Invited   
her for a date in bathroom. Do I rule or what?  
  
xxx  
  
You, crazy freaky basilisk!!!!!  
  
xxx  
  
So, again, another new trauma to my unstable young personality. I'm gone   
to deep depression. Locked myself up in the Chamber of Secrets, booted basilisk   
out to creep anywhere in the school freely, I don't care where. It will find   
something to eat by itself! I never signed up for feeding it!!!  
Took with me five boxes of Bertie Bott beans and something that I mixed up at   
potions class. I don't want to see anyone.  
  
xxx  
  
Twenty-two beans with ear wax taste! THIS IS NOT JUST! I hate you, cruel   
world!  
  
xxx  
  
Hagrid invited me to his place to watch the spiders. No, I really   
disliked this "Put a spider in your pants" game. What if I'd give headmaster a   
hint about it?  
  
xxx  
  
Hagrid was expelled! Hurray! I'm a school hero. At last I was noticed   
and even received an award. The award was immediately taken from me to be put in   
school museum, though. But anyway, aren't I cool! I'm excited. Maybe I should   
make Hagrid be accepted back to school and do all this over again? Humm… yeah   
then I'll get an other award and more attention! Yea!   
  
xxx  
  
Oh, the unforgettable moment of fame. It's worth it to save my present   
self for the descendants. Someday I'm going to be great…someday.  
  
xxx  
  
Lucius managed to find out that I had a diary when I was young and   
begged me to give him it to read. For some reason, I erased a half of records   
from there. He probably won't be interested in my first pollutions, and at what   
age I really stopped wetting my bed. Let him think that I always was this great   
and frightening. Something about my fragile, vulnerable soul can be left in   
diary, let him be jealous.  
I re-read my diary. Oh, child years, child years... How naive I was. How I used   
to think that being an evil overlord would be an easy job...  
  
xxx  
  
I was disembodied. That was annoyingly unpleasant, I must say!!  
  
xxx  
  
Plus: I have a backup copy of myself in my diary.  
Minus: I'm just a sixteen again. All old complexes of my young psyche are back.   
Potter, you'll pay for this!!!  
  
xxx  
  
I'm so Bored.  
  
xxx  
  
Played tic-tac-toe with myself. Failed in persuading Lucius to join me,   
why is he such an ass?   
  
xxx  
  
Made some paper birds from diary pages and played them in Lucius'   
cabinet. What, I'm really bored!?! Why won't Lucius write down some articles   
from Daily Prophet into my diary? I'm eager to know what's happening in the   
world.  
  
xxx  
  
Lucius, I understand that Draco is just five, that he's admirable kid   
and that you are a parent who won't lose extra money. But maybe you'll bother to   
buy for your son some OTHER painting album?!  
  
xxx  
  
No Lucius, my diary can be used for some other purposes. Try to guess...  
  
xxx  
  
I played sex-by-mail with Lucius. It seems that we finally understand   
one other...  
  
xxx  
  
Ginny? What Ginny? Oh no.  
  
xxx  
  
Hello Dear Ginny,  
My name is Tom Riddle, and I'm sixteen...  
  
  
  
/ Inity, 12.02.2003 


End file.
